A quick update of one of the digital collaging experiments.
If you’ve ever attended a figure drawing session, you know that it’s a race against the clock to translate what you see on the model to your piece of paper. I’ve been updating my portfolio recently and needed a few good figure models to look at for reference. Thank god for Thursday night figure drawings.
I promise to get back to the fashion illustrations soon! But underneath all those pretty clothes is a need for a nice human model.
There are consistently five items that will always be stashed in my bag. My glasses, an i-phone charger (alright so this one I sometimes forget), mascara (never forgotten), salty black licorice and my hand to go digging through it all. Of course there might be a few more items placed in there on a day to day basis…
So there might be a couple Splenda packets in my bag. Do those tiny yellow packet contain absolutely anything natural in them..No. Will it probably be illegal in 10 years and linked to rats growing third eyes? Probably. But I’m all for the legalization of artificial sweeteners. Because how else am I supposed to sweeten my espresso’s? Real sugar? No, that stuff is a drug maaan..
Once, I was looking for a Splenda packet at the Whole Foods cafe..(I don’t care what you say “Stevia” is not my Splenda and yes, Whole Foods, you SHOULD be carrying it.) My hand pulled out a single sock instead of my treasured sweetener. The confused barista looked in my direction while I was forced to pretend that it was totally normal to be drinking a bitter, “stevia” sweetened espresso, with only one sock in hand.
While we are on the topic of honesty.. It may be mid April, but my thick leather gloves are still resting in my purse. This is called a midwestern insurance policy. Forty-four degrees in Chicago is the indication that skirt weather and flip-flop season has officially started. But for us several west coasters, we still have post traumatic stress from the polar vortex last year.
So in conclusion, lets just pretend that I only really carry five items around and that my life flows with organized cohesion.
Meet Valerie, she packs only the essentials when heading off the the beach. Bathing suit? Check. Simple necklace? Check. Freshly manicured nails? Check. Matching classic red lipstick? (waterproof of course.) Check. Rings and bangles for “accenting” her look? Check. Along with her hair mousse, luna bars, lemonade-coconut water, portable curling iron and her most prized possession, la mer tinted bb cream, Val is ready for a perfect day of de-stressing. Just don’t ask if you can borrow any of her urban decay makeup setting spray.
Fast forward 980 years into the future and it is now 2995 A.D. Our human bodies have undergone some significant changes during this time to adapt to our ever changing climate.
All the food we eat is completely gluten, lactose, soy and corn free. Basically, our future meals consist of swiss chard and kale with the occasional sprinkling of broccolini. But fear not! our diet will allow for the indulgence of preserved sweet potato juice around the holidays. Goodbye to ugly christmas sweaters and ham and hellooo to aluminum apparel and juiced meals.
The clothing that fills our closets is now focused around how many devices we can combine into one piece and no nothing like that god awful 2004 “cell phone belt.” Dresses now can act as phones, cameras, wallets and a set of keys. This easy accessibility has made selfies and photos of food so much less exhausting for our future selves. Long gone are the days to posting to social media and not knowing the exact moment when others see your post ((the horror.)) Instead we are now able to share these photos on a public stream of consciousness. This allows for instant gratification to those of us who would like to brag about the five star swiss chard that they just consumed, because after all how else will anyone know what we ate ?….Annd it really was divine swiss chard that robot Gordon Ramsey prepared for us.
Does anybody remember those sticky neon marshmallows covered in a synthetic layer of powdered sugar dust? Peeps you ask? Yep that’s them. The days of placing two opponents in the microwave, stabbing a pretzel in the poor warrior’s abdomen and then watching the marshmallows expand and fight each other to the death was not entertaining enough for us americans. Oh no, we had to go the extra mile you see.
Today while grabbing some groceries at the local drugstore I saw something that made my insides curl. Peeps-Flavored Milk was now sitting in the diary section of Walgreens. Drinkable sugar of course, could not just come in one option.. It had to come in three, Marshmallow Milk, Chocolate Marshmallow Milk and Easter Egg Nog. Every sugar fixated child’s dream, because what kid wouldn’t want to finish off a bowl of Trix cereal with Marshmallow milk. Trying to watch what your child is eating? No fear. the Easter Egg Nog flavor also comes in a reduced fat option so you can now feel good about your child’s sugary calcium intake.
All joking aside, I am genuinely excited that these diabetic coma inducing products are now being stocked on the shelves. The four foot chocolate bunny, pastel m&m’s, flower lollipops and of course- the Peeps seem to always foreshadow the promise of spring weather for those of us stuck in frozen midwestern territory!
A little sketch because, I guess my legs are missing hitting the pavement in golden California air rather than the sticky treadmill belt at the gym in Chicago. I have a huge level of respect for anyone that is able to summon up both the willpower and sheer dedication to run in the freezing midwestern air right now. Unfortunately my Californian legs will remain firmly planted in the gym until the temperature reaches a warm and toasty 20 degrees.
Alright.. I have something to admit to you dear readers, there’s a new form of guilt wrapped up in my paint box right now. Golden watercolor paint made an appearance into my life a week ago by dangerously calling my name from the aisles of the painting section of my local art store. Visions of golden illustrations on black, red and blue people began to encircle my poor tempted head. The hefty price tag on the tube of paint (that is smaller than my pinky finger I might add) told all of the remaining logic in my brain to step away and only purchase the golden substance when I truly needed it for class. So, like any other logical college student would do I turned on my heel and headed down the escalator feeling in control of my willpower.
But then.. The hands of fate would have it that when I got in line to purchase my necessary art items and checked my iPhone, a gorgeous golden gown would appear on my Pinterest feed. Clearly a sign that I was destined to acquire the overpriced golden paint!
Now me and my precious golden paint live happily ever after together in my studio.
One look that I keep finding on these frozen city streets, is biker chic. Oh how envious I am of fashionista’s that can pull off this bold style! The way that they can strut alongside the pedestrians in their retro jackets in perfectly edgy ankle boots, will forever make me wish for a new wardrobe. With their hands in their pockets (because who really needs gloves after all ?) they ooze style rebellion. Their music which blares through their headphones, is always nine steps ahead of everything on my iPhone. No parka’s and snowshoes for them. Let’s just all admire the cool lives that Biker Chicks seem to have all figured out.
For the past 6 weeks I’ve been able to come back to my lovely northern California hometown and have been reminded of how wearing shorts in January is completely normal. God forbid when it dips to a frigid 65 degrees, the fur coats begin to appear on the women grocery shopping on a Saturday morning. Amidst a sea of Lulu lemon yoga pants, one can often find leather gloves upon the fingers of us poor northern California souls when the temperature reaches below 70 degrees.
All joking aside, I really do love my hometown in all of it’s organic gluten free quinoa glory! Tomorrow I head back to Chicago and will get the brutal awakening that winter is, yes an actual thing instead of an urban myth that out of state folks tell us California peeps. Carrying all of my overpacked luggage, I shall return with my paints and paper for the next four months of Chicago. Here’s to returning back to real life.